Finding The Light

Finding The Light

This January has certainly lived up to its reputation of being the gloomiest month of the year, and that gloom is reflected in the faces and posture of so many of us.  It is very hard to pull out our own personal light, that sunshine that is so badly needed in these days of dark forecasts, seemingly everywhere.

  Perhaps we need to look for sources of 'lightness' that may not be as obvious as the sun;  Laughter is one light that is very powerful, although it may take awhile to find the light switch, the titter toggle, the humour handle!   It is  always there, in the ordinary things around us.  We are most likely to find it if we  search  first  within ourselves;  in our own activities, habits, pet peeves, vanity, material possessions;  Comedians get the most laughs when they point out our foibles and fears, and their own,  for it is then that we breathe a relieved sigh, acknowledging  that we are all in the same boat, and that we all take ourselves way too seriously.

 While searching for the laughter switch, we can prime our light with a multitude of smiles; perhaps the brightest light source is to be found in the eyes of those we share our smiles with.   In the end, we are all unique yet the same underneath, human,  and it is very healing to laugh at ourselves.   On our lives' journey, let us check within and make sure we're trimming our  light so that it will shine out for those who are having trouble finding the lighthouse:

The Goal Is The Journey

I searched for a lighthouse,

A home for a light

That would shine out for others,

A guide through the night;

Through the darkness that grips us

When we lose our way,

When we feel we're alone,

When our faith's gone away,

And we ponder and wonder,

Is that all there is?

My own bit of light

That I tended each day,

 I hoped would grow larger

Would light others' way,

But the small gifts I shared,

Seem so little and poor;

In the time I was given,

I wish I'd shone more,

And I hope and I trust

That that's not all there is;

Drawing nearer the lighthouse,

When that beam is in sight,

We reach our hand out

To the source of the light,

And there we find grace,

In all of its glory,

A path through the doubt,

To a wondrous new story;

The goal is the journey,

And we'll be alright,

If we trust in that lighthouse,

Where love beams its light.

Don't Worry - Be Happy This New Year!

.   "Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing."    Thank you for your wise words, Mother Theresa.

This year is starting off with an air of impending doom on so many fronts, with the heaviest clouds darkening  the environment and world peace.   Some Happy New Year- right?  It is a difficult task lifting those heavy blankets and checking on the beauty that is still there, huddling underneath.  But it is there in so many forms.   Every day we are given the opportunity to contribute more beauty, more positives, more smiles to life's balance sheet.   Let us light up the darkness with a barrage of  kind acts, big and small - I know that so many of you already are.  I do not pretend to understand all of the complicated causes of depression; what I do know personally is that each time I decide to make a plan to help another, to turn my focus on another,  my happiness ratchets up many notches.  Therefore, my New Year's resolution will be to increase my awareness of others' needs, and to step out of my self-absorption more often.  I will invest in moments of prayerful silence and step often  into my "Happy Place" to restore my spirit and my kindness quotient;

My Happy Place - A Meditation

There is great peace in solitude,  

While walking in a peaceful wood,

But walking through a stressful day,

With problems blocking every way,

I need to find a happy place,

A memory room,  a welcome space,

A glistening, calming ocean shore,

An oasis deep within my core.

Breathing deeply, in I walk,

Letting go of time and talk;

At times it's hard to struggle through,

When answers are obscured from view;

Yet, in that silence, I'm aware

That someone's always waiting there,

A grandma's hug,

 A friendly tug

From one who says, with humble grace,

"Welcome to

Your happy place."

A bag of Le Geyt Premium Bird Seed  -

 A banquet in my hand; Formulated by Elizabeth Le Geyt in 2012 in celebration of her 40 years of writing her bird column in the Ottawa Citizen, It was a fitting take-away gift handed out at her memorial service last week.  Elizabeth was an amazing lady, who embodied passion and wisdom in an active love for the environment.  Over her generous lifetime of 103 years, she shared these seeds eagerly, with her children and grandchildren, her  readers and fellow bird enthusiasts, and with her neighbours;

I knew Elizabeth originally as our next-door neighbour and friend on Martin Lane.  I loved her voice, her musical British accent - it brought every conversation to a more intense level of attention.  In those early years, I also learned to admire her in other ways; I recognized that her sophisticated British accent encased a brave and generous individual, a mother like my own,  and that her heart was subject to the same emotional ups and downs, as she raised her family of five boys.

Her love of nature in all its forms (except perhaps for bird-chasing cats!) was infectious, and we learned so much just being around her on walks down Kelly lane or playing about in their yard.  She was also an avid reader, encouraging us children to read as well - She generously shared her library of children's adventure books  with our family of seven children, who didn't have money for books in those days. 

Fast forward to 2014, and she and her son Michael co-authored a book themselves , "Bird Lady -  a lifelong love affair with birds".  The book title says it all - her life really was an inspiring love story, an adventure - one that she is, I'm sure, continuing to experience.   

A planter passed this way one day,

And scattered seeds about,

The birds flew in with shouts of glee,

To check the banquet out.

Some they ate, and some they dropped,

Upon the welcoming earth;

Plants grew up, their seeds  formed well,

Eager for rebirth.

Those tiny birds can tell us much;

To share,  for who knows when,

The planter will return,

To gather seeds to spread again.

Who Is My Father?

We expect our dads to be towers of strength, guides and mentors,  but what we really want most from them is a huge heart-felt Dad-hug on a regular basis - for them to tell us they love us.   We need them to accept and love us when we succeed and also when we fail.  We want them to join us in our laughter and play, and to put an arm around us  when we cry bitter tears,  understanding that they are both a part of who we are, necessary for our growth.   On the flip-side, our fathers need those same gifts given back to them as they struggle and succeed, or falter, in their attempts to raise their family.

Who Is My Father?

A hand strong and calloused,

That held onto mine,

A face, rough and wrinkled

With love in each line;

Eyes glinting laughter -

The laugh of a boy,

Who still could find wonder

In small bits of joy.

This life's complicated,

And at times, it's unfair,

And he shed humble tears

When he tripped on despair;

But what joy he created

When he strummed out a song!

He sang out his problems,

And coaxed us along.

With a mind that loved learning,

He  tried hard to guide,

As he  watched my young footsteps

And Followed  with pride.

A heart seeking God,

He laid his soul bare

As he prayed for his family -

A father's tough prayer.

Who is my father?

He's all of these things,

Kept close in my memory;

He still makes my heart sing!

At My Mother's Knee

Some memories never fade away,

And that's as it should be,

When they take me back to happy times

And quiet moments  when I'd  find

Myself at Mother's knee.

Special secrets I would share,

Secret hurts and fears,

Nothing seemed too silly there,

With soothing words and hugs to spare,

She'd wipe away my tears.

I'd place my head upon her lap

And feel her hands' caressing,

What peace I felt as I knelt there ,

 Her fingers in my tousled hair,

Receiving mother's blessing.

She'd wrap me in her mother's care,

My smile was her reward;

No one could resist her grin

And soon the giggles would begin,

Good humour was restored.

Those special moments live in me

In love they have been set,

All those lovely memories

Bring me often to my knees

I feel her softness yet.

I close my eyes and hear her voice,

So musical and mild;

No greater gift could ever be,

Than hearing my mom pray for me,

Now I pray for you, my child.

Putting A Spring In My 'To Do' List!

The water on the cover of our pool is now ice-free and sparkling in the sunshine- I'm waiting for our yearly visit by the two mallard ducks who think it is some sort of an inviting pond!  I always look forward to them, as I do the neat, feathered little beacons of hope that visit our bird feeder - a compliment to our humble hospitality. 

 It's nice to feel that Spring sunshine pouring into my thoughts and jogging them into positive action.  Everything is starting to come alive again out there, in the great outdoors, and in here, in the 'struggling to be positive' indoors of my mind.  My inner to-do list was starting to grow out of control before Spring was even officially here, and now I am having yet another think about that list:

  Two of our good neighbours have just recently had to leave their homes and accept the reality of a very different life in hospital -  a reminder that changes in our lives can happen quite abruptly, mocking the to-do list still sitting on the tables of our mind.  If those good people had to re-write their lists, I'm sure that yard and housework would be moved down in priority by a huge drop, replaced by taking one more hour to sit outside under the trees and listen to the sounds of life happening around them; one more cup of tea or coffee with family and friends, another chance to choose their own music to listen to, and one more dance with a spouse, child, or grandchild.

I've written this wish list for them:

One more dance,

One more song,

Some happy steps,

On feet, still strong;

One more day,

One more hour

To hear a bird,

To smell a flower;

To find within,

A child's pure heart

To light my path

Before we part,

And please, dear Lord,

A friendly smile,

To take with me

On my last mile.

I Am Grateful -  Right Now!

'Experiencing gratitude is a learnable skill that improves with practise.  It isn't dependant on things going well, or receiving favours from others.  It's getting better at spotting what's already there.'

'Recent research has shown that people experiencing high levels of gratitude tend to be happier and more satisfied with their lives. When people were instructed to keep a daily 'gratitude journal', where they were to record each day, things that they felt grateful for, it was found to have a profound and reliable impact on mood.  When we get into the habit of keeping this kind of journal, we train our minds to notice the up side of life more easily and quickly.'

The above excerpts are from an article that was sent to me by my wise and caring Aunt Jane (Sister Jane), who is not without her own crosses to bear.  Judging from the positive vibes that continue to emanate from this beautiful lady, it is certainly a state of mind that she has attained and translated into lifting the spirits of others daily.  Therefore, the advice is well worth heeding , her example well worth following.   

Starting today, I will give more notice to the little wonders around me and

 practise gratefulness.

The little bird

That came today,

Because of a seed

On a little tray,

A tiny gift

For tuppence bought,

Gave back to me

A happy thought.

Does that tiny bird

Know what pleasure

She gave to me

With her greatest treasure;

Her lovely song

Sang out to me

That all I have to be

Is me.

Then to those seeds,

In happy mood,

I added grains

Of gratitude.

In The Aftermath - There Is Love!

In the Aftermath - There is love!

I'm sitting and thinking, and watching rain turn into icy fingers, wrapping themselves around the branches and seed heads (still there!) on our lilac tree.  It is reminding me that the world and life goes on around us, not paying any heed to the turmoil that is going on inside of us.  The fact that I have worried, stressed, rewritten and practised before delivering a book presentation to a lovely group of seniors yesterday, seems to have slipped nature's mind!  Perhaps I should take the hint to not take myself so seriously - to get out there and find the beauty that is all around me before my short stint on this earth is done.

 As it turned out, I had a lovely time relating my poems and my life experiences - and sharing my limited musical interpretations to boot - take that you unfeeling drops of ice!

 The fact is, that every time I give something of myself, I reap a wonderful harvest of gifts that others share with me.  It may be new knowledge of my surroundings, a verbal picture that someone paints of something that happened in their past, or it may be the sharing of a dream that lies unfulfilled in them, or in me - whatever, I am truly the richer.

 The world will still be here, long after I'm gone, but it will only have the use of my life for a relatively short time, and I only have this time to share whatever joy I can.   We all have a responsibility to help in the healing and building of this world with whatever gifts we are endowed with.  So rather than giving in to those 'hot on my heels' feelings of inadequacy and smallness, I will try to use my smallness, and take  Mother Theresa's words and example to heart:

               "In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love."

'Lest We Remember'.....

'Lest We Remember........

Forgive me for this turn of phrase on words that have echoed all around us at this time of year...'Lest We Forget'. 

Those words are living:  They hold all of us to account; They ask that we truly do not forget, but put real effort into  remembering - to cherish the freedoms won for us,  to take responsibility for ensuring that we pay our debt in full with the contribution of our actions to help build on those freedoms.

To those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice, we owe our respect and gratitude, just as we owe it to all those who have not forgotten, but have built our lives up and gave of themselves from the time we were born to the present: our parents, grandparents, neighbours and dear friends.  The loss of each one is worthy of remembering, in ways that would make them proud of us and of the part that they played in our lives. 

Two minutes, two roses - As we left the cenotaph ceremony in our community, we were grateful to take something with us:  the two minutes of silence that were enriched with our respect and tears, and the mental image of wreaths that were laid and of  two roses that were placed to honour the most recent heroes in mankind's struggle to protect and preserve the best in our humanity.

Those two moments were a gift from young men and women who gave up their lives for our freedoms; They would never get any more minutes with their families.  Let our promise be to never forget, and in our remembering, to build each other up, giving the very best that is in us, every precious minute of our lives.